


Light in the secrets

by stormsnape07



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Depression, F/M, Hurt, Oral Sex, Rough Sex, mature - Freeform, power
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-30
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:08:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 23,421
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27798985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stormsnape07/pseuds/stormsnape07
Summary: Almost like a child to Lord Voldemort, she has a hard task to complete, maybe she will even fall in love with her potions teacher.Will she be able to open her heart and will he be able to take down her walls?
Relationships: Reader/ Severus Snape, Reader/ Snape, Severus Snape/Reader, Snape/Reader
Comments: 4
Kudos: 26





	1. Sleppy

~~Flashback~~ (your pov)

~I am so nervous right now, I can't believe I am at Hogwarts.~ The big doors for Hogwarts open and a sweet old lady comes out of it and gives a tiny speech "Welcome to Hogwarts everyone, for the next years of your life this would be like a home to most of yall. You will be selected into one of these four houses: Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, Gryffindor, and Slytherin, best of luck." With that, she started to walk and all of us started following upfront, of course, I always stayed in the back I hated the attention but all I could hear were the gasps and the jaws dropping from my fellow students about the magic ceiling in the Great Hall I agree that it was quite magnificent but magic was always around me good or bad it was always present with me. I started to hear Professor McGonagall, now that I know her name, calling other students names and wait patiently to hear my name till I hear her say "Y/N Moon" I hear some whispers about my last name and know exactly what they are talking about but chose to ignore it and as I sit on the brown old chair Professor puts the famous Sorting Hat on my head and starts to speak "Umm a Moon, I see some bravery in here but so much sadness, I see hardworking and very cunning, well SLYTHERIN." I get up and all I can hear now is claps and yelling from my table, without thinking twice I go to my fellow Slytherins and try to make friends with a platinum blonde boy named Draco Malfoy he was really nice and kinda cute and he introduced me to his friends Goyle and Crabbe, they were also nice but when I spoke to Goyle he turned red and left running away from our table, Draco just started laughing and then I started laughing and then we couldn't stop laughing we got all red and almost couldn't breathe.

~~ End of flashback~~ (still your pov)

Here I am, in these cold dungeons at 3 am without sleep for days looking out the common room wrapped in blankets trying to relax but tonight I wasn't alone, I could feel two eyes on me in the back of the door, I take my wand out and light a Lumos very quiet and caught the person with his back turned on me when I ask with my feet getting cold "Turn around now." as he does I noticed it's Professor Snape and he asks in a frightening tone, "What are you doing here at this time of the night, miss Moon?" I lowered my wand and answered with a bit of stuttering due to the cold and being afraid of getting detention, I was one of the only students that haven't caught detention with Professor Snape yet so I don't want to try it out "I- I couldn't sl- sleep, Professor." "How long have you gone without sleeping, Moon?" I was amazed by his question even if it seemed little it was the first time that someone asked a question about my well-being " Fo- Four days Sir." His tone drops a few notes and asks, "And why is that?" I start to feel a small tear forming in the corner of my eye "Nightmares Sir." He raises an eyebrow at me and says now looking deeply into my eyes as if he was trying to read my mind as if I didn't know how to block it easily "Sir don't try to read my mind, it won't work." I say with somewhat confidence in my voice still shaking from being cold and he steps a little closer to me now I can smell his breath that as a big scent of coffee and burnt wood and said looking down at me "Very smart miss Moon, follow me." with that he did a huge cape swift and walked somewhat fast.

I followed him being a little behind and as soon as we arrived at his personal chambers he opened the door and let me in first, I didn't even think twice about sitting on his comfortable velvet green couch in front of the fireplace and he comes out of a dark room to bring me a potion in a glass vial. I must be so sleep-deprived because I didn't realize yet that I am in my teacher's chambers on his couch and just what is wrong with me?

"Drink it." He says, very bluntly and in a monotone tone sitting next to me in the couch.

"What is it?" I ask, afraid of what the potion would do to me if I drink it.

"Don't worry it won't kill you, it will make you sleep and will help you with your nightmares."

I do as he says and drink the potion while looking right into his deep brown eyes trying to read his mind but there was nothing just no thoughts or feelings.

I'm starting to get really sleepy and my eyes are beginning to feel so heavy and I put my head onto his shoulder while he picks the Daily Prophet and reads it for a while. After a few hours, he picks me up, while being completely knocked out and in a bridal style he puts me to bed and pulls the covers on me.

~~Snape's POV~~~

I don't know what came over me, I felt the huge urge to protect her and to be able to care for and take care of her but it's wrong.

-SEVERUS SNAPE FOCUS- I yell at myself in my thoughts on the way to my sweet bed for some hours until I have to give classes to annoying kids that mess my classroom.

Ahhhhh sweet bed, I tried to get sleep but I can't see her image is running on my mind, I wonder what her nightmares were about, now that I am thinking about it I have never seen her eat a full meal or laugh with joy.

My mind had thoughts like this ones for hours none end.

Word count : 1022.

A/N: Sorry if this is kinda cliche but I promise I have big things in mind!!


	2. Why me?

3rd person POV

~~Some time skip~~

Every day is the same, the color that once was everywhere in Hogwarts has disappeared for me, everyone around me is happy. It's sad having no friends, no one you can trust, tell stupid jokes and laugh till your stomach hurts, Hogwarts, once your reason to continue on with your life now is like a challenge every day just to get out of bed and get the Slytherin robes on. You felt like a joke to your house, every time you enter the common room you see oblivious girls gossiping about how Draco Malfoy and how he was today and blah blah blah, you heard them sometimes talking about you and how you are in the wrong house or because of your status in the Wizarding World, they only knew how to spread rumors that made you cut off the only friendships you had for years and has you though you were so replacable they didn't even though for a day to find another friend to talk shit about you. You would cry yourself to sleep thinking that the people you thought were your true friends just didn't care they only wanted homework done or some person to get them to Draco, but you got to a point you just got numb, you didn't care anymore, you knew no matter what you were and are useless and nobody wants to be friends as if to date a Death Eather or a "traitor" as they used to call you, only some people knew about you joining the Dark Side, but they were dead by now. People around school found out about you because one foolish girl saw a little bit of the mark on your arm and didn't even care to ask if they just spread it like fleas around a kindergarten. You didn't care at that much, you could kill them all with one flick of your wand and they couldn't do anything, being trained by the Dark Lord itself as some pros. 

~~Flashback~~

"AVADA KEDAVRA!" you yelled as the boy, a traitor to the Dark Lord, fell to the floor dead, one of the many lives you took, you felt no remorse as you did it, your 5th year at Hogwarts, being a Death Eater for a year now, today marked a day that the Dark Lord was reborn and you becoming his right hand and him becoming your mentor. 

You still remember the day you met the Dark Lord, he was just reborn and looking for new Death Eaters, you were crying your eyes out at some pub because of your stupid dead parents that died years before that by the Order of Phoenix or something like that until you saw a woman you recognized as Draco's mother she hugged you, you flinched at first but you got to feel the warm embrace of a loving mother for once in your life, she took you to the Malfoy Manor and for some misfortune or fortune you crossed paths with the Dark Lord, his first words to you were "Ah a Moon, poor girl, what can I do with you? What's your name?" you had no fear in you, he saw and observed the fact that you had no reacting towards him, most people wouldn't dare to even be in the same room as such man but you looked him straight into his brown eyes and said with confidence "Y/N, my Lord." he looked at you with a slight smirk on his lips and said, "Such bravery, your aura is one the strongest I have ever felt in a witch so young, you would be so valuable to me." you had nothing else to live for, so why not? "I would love to join and be your most loyal servant, my Lord." some of the Death Eaters around the table were jealous, you could feel their auras turning full of jealousy, "Perfect, take the arm out my child." you did as he said, he pulled out his wand and you felt a sharp, cutting pain in your arm but you didn't even react to it, your parents have caused you greater pain than that. After a few seconds, the pain ended and you were with a beautiful and magical dark mark on your arm, "For the first time ever, she didn't shed a single tear or even whined in pain, so brave, I want to tutor you, my child." Barely a Death Eater and already scoring points with Voldemort himself, you thought, "That would be a pleasure, my Lord."

That day crossed your mind sometimes, to think how powerful you were now compared to then and much trust you gained just with some time, you were his right hand in everything, you still attended Hogwarts but it was as a spy and on weekends you spent it training or doing tasks or somethings you knew the Dark Lord would appreciate.

Being in the same year as the famous Harry Pottah, the Boy Who Lived, bullshit, you hated Harry Potter's guts sense the first moment you put your eyes on his, his aura, his story, everything about him made you hate him, one of your dreams was to kill Harry, and you promised you would conquer that no matter what. 

~~End of flashback~~

Your POV

I was alone like always, having another useless D.A.D.A. class, I knew everything, and even more, I know the darkest of the darkest magics, almost no one knew about some of the magic the Dark Lord taught me and this new professor we got is just awful, Remus Lupin, he is so noisy, he tried to roll up my sleeve up last week, but why? I knew he couldn't read my mind or aura, why did he care after all? 

Finally, after some miserable classes, it was potions, I still have no idea what happened last night with Professor Snape but I don't even want to find out, and to be honest, I didn't care, I just wanted the weekend to leave this pathetic excuse for a school and learn and do something productive. 

We are doing Amortentia today, I hate this potion so much, it's just stupid the all thing of love and attraction, that only happens on muggles stories, not on wizards and witches but still, I want to keep all my O's at everything so I guessed I needed to do it. 

I did everything correctly and I could feel a specific pair of eyes eyeing me and my work like it was looking for a mistake to correct me or to give me his famous detentions but I didn't make a single mistake and I made sure of it. 

I finished first and while others were doing them the Professor put himself behind me and asked: "What does your potion smell like to you, miss Moon?" I almost couldn't smell anything, there was a small hint of peppermint and a light touch of old books, so I said with no fear in my voice: "Professor, there is almost no smell in mine but there is a small hint of mint and old books." I turned around, facing him in the eyes, he gives a curious or whatever it was this man is impossible to read anyway, and he said," Curious, yes very curious." I ask out of pure curiosity "What does yours smell like Professor" ., the class was too focused to hear our conversation anyway. He takes the glass vial with the potion and gives a sniff saying "Roses, chocolate and cinnamon." I knew that was my smell, people always told me I smelt like chocolate and cinnamon or roses, I was quite shocked by what he just said but I didn't care much so I brushed it off and the bell rang and I left almost immediately.

A/N: sorry if my English kinda sucks its not my first language and I am trying my best I promise, hope you liked it, and sorry if it is a little longer than usual. All the love. x


	3. Left to rot

~~Sometime skip and Snape's POV~~

Why do I even bother to care for these students? All they do is make a huge mess in the classroom, I wish I had more students like Y/N, she never makes a mess, she is so perfectionist on everything she makes and she makes sure to not make a single mistake, I felt like she was trying to impress me but she was so amazing in everything, I saw my first love in her, Lily, ever since I met this girl I have thought less and less about Lily, this sweet girl is making me forget her. I can't be thinking this about one of my students, this is very wrong but it's like she has a pull on me, and it's pushing me to her like a magnet. But I can handle it, I just need to think clearly.

~~Time skip to dinner, still Snape's POV~~

I hate this woman with my whole body, she just never stops talking, and she always sits down next to me and talks about muggles and how muggles do stuff and how muggles do this and that, I just hate her voice at this point but I keep my composer. 

I notice Y/N, is getting skinnier at a somewhat faster pace and she is not eating, today I just saw her eat an apple for breakfast and eat some rice for lunch I am starting to get worried. 

She left the Great Hall, she barely touched the food, I noticed she had been very sad and pale the last few weeks but she was always like that but she is starting to concern me, I need to speak to Dumbledore about this.

I got up and left the annoying teacher talking to flies and went up to Dumbledore giving a side look, he understood and got up from his gloden trone and went to a room that is at the left side of the table.

"Is everything alright, Severus?" he asks with a wise voice like the wise person he is, this man has my entire respect and trust, he is the only person that knows that I am a double agent in this school, so I know I can't talk with him about Y/N.

"I am concerned about Y/N, sir. She is very depressed, she isn't eating much."

"Severus, I have noticed you quite fancy this girl, she has a person with a very bad past, and she is rounded by dark magic, she is really strong and she knows more about dark magic than you and me together. She is wise and powerful, Severus." I couldn't say anything, this man knows so much, probably just looking at me, but what did he meant withdark magic?

"Sir, what do you mean by dark magic? More powerful? " I was so confused by his words I just needed answers right away.

"Severus, this girl isn't as pure and innocent as you may or may not think, that girl has plenty of secrets and dark things in her life she can't change."

With that he left, my mind with questions, what does he mean by dark things? Secrets? Is she in pain?

~~ Your POV~~

As soon as I saw Professor Snape looking at me, while I was leaving I heard Pansy say really mean things about me to her stupid friends and I read her mind, that girl is such a coward and just so loud, her mind is full of Draco and Draco and gossip, I hate her even more.

I just left the Great hall not looking behind me and I just looked in front of me for a slip of a second and noticed Miss pink as... Oh sorry, Professor Umbridge, with a stupid smile in her I wanted to rubber out of her face so much but I just asked with a fake smile "Is everything ok Professor Umbridge?" she left a small weird giggle and said, "Miss Moon, what are you doing outside of the Great Hall at this time?" I hate people getting into business and already had a way too much on my plate today, "Professor, I don't think it concerns you." I noticed she kinda looked a little taken aback by what I said and just answered calmly "Miss Moon, how dare you speak to me like that?" I was not afraid of her whatsoever she was pissing me off, "Professor, I talk as I want and I just want to go to my dorm without someone getting in my business." She took my hand abruptly and took me to her office, now she was truly pissing me off.

The moment I walked in I wanted to throw up, the amount of pink is abnormally awfully. She finally let my hand go and pushed me down to a chair and a desk, "Y/N, you are going to write sentences as a punishment for the behavior had." Oh the amount of irony this woman has, I wanted to show her a true punishment with some spells me and the Dark Lord but I calmed myself down and asked "What do you want me to write?" she giggled again and said, "I should not be rude to professors." Oh please, I wasn't rude. I took the quill she gave me into my hand and wrote the fastest I could. 

I felt a sharp pain in my hand and saw the letters I just wrote appear on my hand and I looked her straight into her eyes and she just walked closer and said "Dismissed." with a fake smile on her face, I promise my dead parents that when I get the change this woman will be very sorry and very much.

I am so tired of these people, this school, I am so tired I just want peace and not having to worry if someone even cares for me, because that's what I am, alone.

I ran to the Astronomy Tower and sat down on the balcony and I just left everything out of me. I was so tired that I didn't even notice a black figure following my every step.

I was alone, no parents, no friends, just stress, all the Death Eaters hate my guts, I only had the Dark Lord as a somewhat mentor figure because besides that no one, I just got punished for being honest to a teacher and let me tell you this thing stings. 

(possible trigger warning - self-harm and depression)

"Y/N, are you ok?" I know this voice, Professor Snape, I wipe my tears away immediately and say with a fake smile "Yes, Professor, why do you ask?" he gets somewhat mad I guess, " Don't lie to me, Y/N." I was now surprised by his words, "What do you mean sir?" He didn't change his expression and just leaned down to me and put his hand to my cheek and said "I know that you haven't been eating or taking care of yourself, I know that these small cuts on your thighs aren't from your owl, I also know that you hide great secrets and I need you to trust me." he said while lifting my skirt up just a little bit and traced with his fingers the scars that I made to myself not too long ago, my voice was now gone and I just didn't do anything besides staring at his fingers and you just felt that he was looking into every detail of your face, "I care about you, Y/N please tell me everything." you started to cry again and much more, "I am alone, I was left to rot in this world by myself and have no one, lost all my friends because of rumors and guess what? They are right, I am just a Death Eater that kills people because some old man tells her to do so. I get O's at everything but no one to make me proud, I don't have the energy to even eat or to care." I just buried my face in my hands and cried my heart out until I felt a soft embrace hug me and the next thing I was warm and sitting on the floor, on his chest still crying when I stopped crying after some minutes he said "Y/N, can you please show me your mark." I was a bit shocked by his question but I left his embrace and while sitting between his legs against the wall, I pulled my sleeve up and showed my dark mark, and all my others marks and looked at my arm and them me with a look of caring in his eyes, he rolled up his sleeve to reveal his own mark, "Y/N, why do you so many?" he asked, I lifted my head to meet eye to eye "I am his right hand, from the moment I turned one of his, he has been training me and teaching me every weekend and on holidays, we made a few spells together, every dark spell I know he taught me, and practiced, some of the spells aren't known to the Wizarding world." he looked like he was lost but he said, "Why did you get into this world Y/N?" I don't even know why I should be trusting him right now but it just feels like I should, "I was alone, I wanted to feel true power, I don't regret it I just wish I didn't go so young. I know when you are trying to read my mind when we are in class, the Great Hall, the hallways, I know."

[A/N: this is getting there and sorry for the dark vibe of the story. 

Word count : 1615 words. 

Hope yall are ok, <3]


	4. Task

~~Your POV~~

Why should he care so much about me anyway? 

We are now hugging and just not saying anything, his mind... it's full of thoughts, so many I can't count or even listen to one without being changed. 

My arm, it's burning, My Lord is calling me, I get up and said while cleaning my tears, "I am truly sorry, Professor, I must go." He was about to say something but I appeared in the Manor where My Lord has been hiding. I love the feeling of apparition, the black smoke, the wind, the speed and feeling of so much power was amazing.

I say the password to the gate, and transform my school uniform into an amazing long dress with a long black cape, it had short sleeves to reveal the rest of my marks, some scars but I loved to show my arms but hated my legs due to all the scars I gave myself, the youngest being a month ago when I had a flashback of what my parents used to do to me. 

I enter the room, and come close to My Lord where as usual he takes my hand and kisses the knuckles, "What is the reason for this meeting My Lord?" I ask while still standing waiting for Wormtail to bring me a chair like he always does. While sitting down My Lord answers "Y/N, we are here reunited today to welcome a new member, Draco Malfoy." I was already expecting that sooner or later his arrogant father would make him become one of us. I look at him already sitting down between his mother and father, pale and completely terrified, I need to talk to him after this. 

"My Lord, what are his tasks?" I ask, I always liked to know what other Death Eaters were doing. 

"Find a way for Death Eaters to enter Hogwarts, just a small task, but I do have one for you." He said while putting his long white hand on my shoulder, "What do you desire I do, My Lord?", "I had Severus join us for this meeting but he is late." Wait, Severus? Severus Snape? Was he a Death Eater? "Pardon me, My Lord, but you mean Professor Snape?" I ask with curiosity, all these 3 years I have never heard that he was a Death Eater, the Dark Lord answers with a smile "Yes, my darling, he is quite loyal to us, but he wasn't useful till now, he is going to assist you in this task, you are going to miss this week and the next of class and he is going to tell some lie to Dumbledore, ok?" I was quite amazed that this task must be important than I never needed anyone, sometimes I and My Lord would do tasks together, but I have never done it with another Death Eater. "Of course, My Lord." I say bowing a little with my head and suddenly I hear a loud sound from the door and turn my head around to see Professor Snape barging in, "Ah, so good for you to join us, Severus." My Lord said with a slight smile, Professor Snape never changing his expression said "What am I needed for, My Lord?", he didn't even look at me, it made me a little empty, to be honest, "I need you to help Y/N with her task and tell a lie to Dumbledore because she is going to stay here for a while." My Lord while putting his hand on my shoulder again, making Severus finally acknowledge my presence in the room and say "It would be all my pleasure, My Lord." the cold man said while looking at me with a slight smirk placed on his lips, what is this man thinking? Ah, of course, he has his mind blocked. 

"WORMTAIL, bring our special guest." I flinch a little at the yell the Dark Lord gave, suddenly I see a woman floating, Severus as already sitting down next to Bellatrix, that woman had me on her death list I swear she wouldn't miss a shot to make a fool out of me in the begging of me being Death Eater, like when I was learning to shot a Killing Curse perfectly she would laugh at my failed attempts and the Dark Lord would gare at her, reassuring me to continue trying until I became more powerful than her and closer to the Dark Lord than her, she became full of envy and jealousy. 

"Severus! Help me!" the woman said in a voice like a loud whisper filled with pain, I remember her, I know who she was, my Muggle Studies teacher, I was never her favorite student, always taking house points from my house for even breathing in class, Charity Burbage. 

"Wormtail, I told you to keep our guest quiet." My Lord said getting a bit mad.

"Of course My Lord right way." The rat ugly man did, I could tell he is very afraid of the Dark Lord, his thoughts are full of cowardice and loyalty to My Lord.

"Professor Burbage taught the children of witches and wizards all about Muggles ... how they are not so different from us..." My Lord said while smiling ear to ear, "And trying to convince the children that muggles are like us, and even how we should mate with them." Me and the table laugh, so does My Lord, "Y/N, have the honors?" he handed me his wand that always meet one thing, kill. "All my pleasure." I slowly took the wand into my hand, his wand and mine were quite similar but he was much more powerful. 

"Avada Kedavra." The green light flashes and the dead body of the woman drops on the table in front of us, I didn't even think twice before doing it, it became a habit to not have any mercy, no matter the person. 

I look at Draco, he looks even more terrified now than before, he looks at me with pure fear while I don't show a bit of emotion, -How could she do this? Will she kill me too?-his thoughts were all full of questions like this. 

"Nagini, go eat," I say while rubbing my hand along her long body, me and Nagini had a powerful connection I could feel it and knowing parseltongue helped. 

"Good job, Y/N, I knew you would always be perfect." The Dark Lord said in my ear, putting his hands on my shoulders and squeezing them.

After some more meeting talk and checking on everyone's tasks, the meeting ended.

My Lord pulled me aside to talk and to talk about my task with Severus.

"My sweet Y/N, I guess you are curious what your task is, and why you need Severus. You are going to kill Dumbledore and I am sure you will have no trouble doing so but I need you to train the spells we made, one of them being Morre Dolore, remember that one?" 

I know that spell by heart, it is very energy-draining, I and my Lord made it so the person that is conjured to, dies with the most painful pain ever created, even then worse than the Cruciatus Curse, even My Lord only did it twice and I did it only once because of how dangerous it is to the person who conjures it. 

"I am sure I will be able to do it, but why don't I just use the regular Killing Curse instead, my Lord? And why do I need to kill him?" I ask, I know no matter what, the Dark Lord knew I was loyal to him and that he saw me almost as a daughter. 

"Dear, it needs to be by that speel because he has phoenix power with him and he would survive, and it needs to be you because I know how much you dislike that man and the fact that he is known as The Most Powerful Wizard Of All Time, I want it to mean something to the both of us, Severus will be with you to protect you against anyone that interrupts you, I can't have you die, my dear." He said with a somewhat warm smile towards me, I smile, he knew me better than myself almost, I hated Dumbledore for his repulsion towards me and not being able to hide his thoughts lost all my respect, he was planning that Harry Potter would kill me, he trusted Potter with killing me, as if.

"My Lord, it will be all my pleasure, thank you for the opportunity," I said with smirking. My Lord smiled and said "Y/N, how many times do I have to tell you to call me Voldemort in private?" he opened his arms and pulled me into a hug, "Sorry, Voldemort." I said while embracing him and snorting a little laugh. 

After 10 seconds of a hug, Voldemort put his arm on my shoulder and turned to Severus, finally acknowledging him in the room, "What are you going to say to Dumbledore, Severus?".

Severus smirked and said, "That Miss Moon here, is terribly ill and spending some time with her grandparents."

I laugh, my grandparents were dead a long time ago, Voldemort killed them for never protecting me when I told him my story, its weird to have such an open platonic relationship with the famous Dark Lord but I got used to it with time, and knowing we were both terribly abused kids when youngsters made our relationship bigger. 

"You fancy this sweet girl don't you Severus?" Voldemort said while snorting a laugh, I was shocked by his words. 

"Excuse me, My Lord?" Severus said he looked as confused as me. 

"Severus, you can hide your thoughts from her but not me." Is this man for real now? Does Severus really fancy me?

"My Lord, she is my student and the person I have to protect, nothing else." "He said, kinda hurt me, he was leaving the room when he turned and said, "My Lord, ask the girl about her hand." What? Oh no, he saw what Umbridge made me, and was rooting me out to Voldemort.

"Y/N, dear show me your hand." I did as he said and put my hand on his and he traced a finger over the scars and said while looking in my eyes. 

"It was this new teacher in the school, she made me write this on the paper with a special quill, and it transferred into my hand, I am sorry I didn't tell you sooner," I said feeling quite sad. 

"Don't worry, my dear, she will get her time and I will make sure that you have your turn, I will make sure of it." He said while kissing my hand.

[A/N: I feel like I already know this plot and I promise there will be smut with Severus. 

I hope you like to read more about Y/N and Voldemort's relationship, and what do you think is coming for her and Severus? What about Draco?

Word count: 1836]


	5. All of those

~~Your POV~~

I left Voldemort in the room, and went to Draco's room, his thoughts were so loud but he wasn't alone, Lucius, "Gain her trust, make her close to you, I need to get closer to Dumbledore, just do your task, ok, Draco?" His voice was a whisper but I could just hear him clearly from the hallway, Draco's thoughts were painful to hear -Why is my father making me do this? Does he want me dead? I hate this. I never wanted this.- I barge in the dorm making them both turn quickly towards me.

"I need to speak to Draco," I said asserting my dominance, I knew Lucius's feelings towards me, he was a married man that since I was 15 years old he flirted with me, his thoughts were so loud -She is so hot when she bosses me. What I would do for her.- I wanted to throw up, I blocked his thoughts immediately and he left the room waving his dark cape towards the door and making eye contact with me, I heard the door locked and now Draco was turned against the window looking at the Manor's patio and the full moon that it was. 

"Draco, we need to talk," I said putting my hand on his shoulder, he didn't move. "Why did you kill her? Are you going to kill me too? How long have you been a Death Eater? What is your relationship with the Dark Lord?" He asked very quickly and gave a long breath in the end.

"I am not going to kill you Draco, nor your mother. I have been a Death Eater for 3 years now. I and Voldemort have a close relationship, he has been teaching and mentoring me since I turned one when he came back, I am his right hand and I would never do anything to break his trust."I said with confidence, taking my hand off his shoulder looking through the window, I couldn't bear to listen to his thoughts anymore. 

"I know you are in pain and feel alone but you have me now, you need to go back to Hogwarts and pretend as if nothing happened, I will teach you legilimency for at least knowing that Dumbledore won't rat us out, I am sorry this happened to you." I was speaking truthfully and I felt bad he didn't have a choice, he is just a boy.

"Do you have more questions?" I ask, trying to break the silence.

"Why do you have those marks? Are those the same as mine Dark Mark?" he asks while looking into my eyes, now facing me.

"No, Draco, I do have the same mark as you. But these are different, I have those for things I have done." 

"Like what?" he was curious, very curious. 

"Killing, Draco. Killing wizards and muggles, Voldemort gave them as a sign of trust, you may be thinking, but other Death Eaters don't have them and they have killed before. Well, these were made by Voldemort himself on my skin, I am the only one who has them as a sign of power and faith, he calls them Marcas Fidei, in Latin they mean "Marks of trust". Even if he dies I will always have them. " I point at the beautiful tattoo of a dragon on my upper arm and say "This one is the first time I used a spell we created to hurt people badly, he was very proud of me." He looks frightened but interested, I now point at my lower leg that my dress is showing where I have a storm tattoo and say smiling "This one was the first one after the Dark Mark like you have, I was 15, only being a Death Eater barely a year and heaving training every weekend and meetings almost every night, I got my first killing curse to be successful, I was very proud at the time, and Voldemort was too, that's why." 

"Why do you call him Voldemort?" He asked, I wasn't minding his questions after all he was one of us, even if in a lower position. 

"I gained his trust and respect for being able to do so but don't call him Voldemort until he allows you too, listen I see Voldemort as a father figure, I know weird but he was the only person for me in very dark moments and protected me against my awful family, he taught me how to defend myself and how to gain confidence and trust my own power." I said, saying nothing but the truth, "Draco, I see you as a friend and I don't want you to get hurt so do the task he asks you too, or am I going to hurt you, not kill you, but hurt you, if you break his or mine trust, get it?" I knew I was being rough towards him but he needed a push. "Yes, Y/N. I won't I swear," he said with a sad smile on his lips. I hug him tightly feeling some tears on my shoulder I don't leave the hug, he stops crying after some time and I say "Everything is going to be ok, go to sleep, you need it." I left him in his room, his thoughts are more quiet and calm, I felt somewhat relaxed and nervous too, I need to train, it's going to be a long week. 

~~Snape's POV~~

After leaving that Manor, I finally had some time to think about what just happened, how did the Dark Lord know about my thoughts towards Y/N? I need to hide them better, all these things she makes me think are very wrong, I just want to get this task over as quick as possible. 

I enter Hogwarts and go straight towards Dumbledore's office, on the way there I thought of lying but then I would be breaking his trust after all I am a double agent. I decided to lie, I don't want to get Y/N in more trouble than the mess she already is in. 

"Ah, my friend Severus, how can I help you?" The Headmaster said lifting his head from some papers and looking right into me with a soft smile.

"It's about Miss Moon," I said never looking into his eyes but more at the window trying very badly to hide my thoughts.

"Is everything ok with her, Severus?" he said getting curious about the manor.

"She is very sick and will miss this week of school, her grandparents are taking care of her," I said now looking right at him but not looking in his eyes.

"Severus, then why didn't they send me a letter and it was you saying me this?" He said, lifting an eyebrow.

"I helped her get home, she was very sick and her grandparents were very busy." It was hurting me to lie straight to him but I couldn't put Y/N at risk.

"Ok then I will assert other teachers, thank you, Severus." 

I left not saying anything I couldn't bear to lie to the man I trusted the most, all for her.

~~Your POV~~

I woke up cold, it's amazing how these rooms get so cold in the winter and the Malfoys are super-rich. I send some fire to the fireplace with my hands and sit up in the bed, suddenly the door opens, a house-elf enters and says "Good morning, Miss Moon, the Dark Lord asks for your presence in 30 minutes in the dining hall, here are your clothes for the day, breakfast will be with the Dark Lord as he requested." She seemed sweet, she bowed and left before I could even thank her. 

I went straight to the bathroom and took a burning hot shower and did my personal hygiene, also got dressed in a black skirt and black hoodie with some knee-high socks and put some random shoes on.

I left the room and entered the dining hall where Voldemort, Nagini, Narcissa, Bellatrix, and Lucius were, I guess Draco left already. 

I went straight towards Nagini and said in parseltongue "Hey Nagini, had a good night?" While rubbing her head as she nodded and finally went towards Voldemort and said "Good morning sir." he took my hand and kissed it, like usual, and said, "Good morning, dear, slept well?" I sat down beside him and said "Just a bit cold but perfectly." 

"The spoiled girl can't handle a bit of cold." Bellatrix said while laughing, I stopped eating my toast eating and looked right in her eyes and said, "At least I am not a little pet to Voldemort." I said laughing, I heard Voldemort laugh too and I just looked at him making me laugh even more. 

She suddenly got up from her chair and pointed her wand at me, I slowly turned to her cleaning my mouth, Lucius and Narcissa were jaws dropped and very frightened. 

-Do whatever you want with her."I hear Voldemort's voice in my head, we used to do this a lot, especially during meetings or when you knew they were traitors. I looked at Voldemort and smirk, I looked at Bellatrix and she fell to the ground in pain dropping her wand, a trick I used to do that Voldemort taught me was using the Cruciatus curse without a wand and just using the mind power. 

She was yelling in pain, I heard Voldemort laughing when I stopped the spell, she stopped yelling, I swallowed a big gulp of orange juice and said with a smile while looking at Bellatrix getting up and struggling "Don't mess with me or the next time it will be way worse." 

I got up after eating and turned to Nagini and said "Want to go on a walk?" I said with a soft smile, I and she was close and we hadn't talked in some time, she nodded.

At the back of the house, there was a huge garden with gorgeous flowers from every part of the world. "So Nagini, did you miss me?" I said while smiling and looking at her, "As if." she laugh,s or at least what I thought was how a snake would laugh. 

We walked and talked about what it felt like hours when it was only 50 minutes.

"This was nice Y/N, we need to do more," she said while walking in the Manor again. I can't believe my only friend is a snake. I sit down on the porch and laugh at my own shitty life.

When I heard a "That was quite a show you put on breakfast, Y/N." 

[A/N: I hope you like this chapter, all the love, xoxo.

word count: 1787 words]


	6. Enough!

Trigger warning: sexual assault and violence 

~~Your POV~~ (some days skip)

All I do is train, sleep, and sometimes eat, all I wanted to do was to do this damn spell correctly, I started on bugs, rats, bunnies, monkeys, birds but today I was going to do a human, a person that I was meant to kill a long time ago, the person who hurt me the most in this world besides my parents, my uncle, made me lose all the hope I had in people and affection, he used to touch me whenever he wanted to, I was a toy to him. 

He used to work with Lucius Malfoy at the Ministry so Voldemort asked him to invite him for dinner.

It was almost 8 pm and I was getting ready for it. I was in a suit, a black blazer and black trousers with the blazer open a little on revealing some chest, I put my hair in a ponytail, I was nervous, I couldn't disappoint Voldemort or Severus. I told Draco to go on a walk with his mother yesterday, he would be destroyed after he saw the power of the spell, he would be even more broken.

8 pm

"Hey, my friend Lucius, it was truly nice for you to invite me over." His voice sent me chills through all my body and I felt anger and rage inside me, my adrenaline was maximum now, I was ready for this. 

"Thank you for coming, I have some people for you to meet, this is Severus, a teacher at Hogwarts." I heard Lucius say I knew that was my clue. 

"So nice to see you, uncle." he had his back turned against me and I said the last word of the sentence with so much sass and rage.

Voldemort enters the room and says "Connor Moon, a low class and half-blood wizard, always touching things he shouldn't and always asking for attention." he says while walking around my uncle, I could feel the fear raging in my uncle, he was like a little rat in a trap, stupid. Severus was behind me with his hand on my lower back, I didn't mind that much so I let him be, it felt good to feel some touch.

"Y/N, how did you get yourself with these people?" My uncle turned to me now more afraid than before now. I burst out laughing, I heard Severus and Lucius let out a laugh and Voldemort just laughed with me.

"Poor little rat in a big trap, so sad for you to think that I work for them, no, my sweet uncle I work with them. You see when my amazing parents passed away and I left your disgusting house, I found my home, a father figure." I said while walking in circles around him, and finishing the circles with a hand on Voldemort's shoulder. I was feeling the power and energy running through my bones and veins. 

"My dear, can I have some fun first with your sweet uncle?" Severus asks with a smirk on his face.

"All yours," I say smiling and looking straight into my uncle's eyes.

"Crucio." the word falls out of Severus' mouth like pure water and I just watch my uncle on the floor yelling in pain, like I would care if he puts a hand out for me like he was asking for help, I laugh and turn to Voldemort and say "Lord Voldemort, want some fun with the stupid rat?" my know Lucius was on behind all of us by the door.

"All my pleasure, my darling." He said while using one of our spells without saying the words I just knew what spell he used, the mufflers and whimpers of the rat were like pure music to Voldemort's ears, I knew that because he opened his mind to show me that.

"I think it's time," I said while pulling out my wand and looking at Voldemort and Severus once again, Severus nodded and Voldemort smiled.

"Morre Dolore." The dark purple light leaves my wand and into my uncle's body who was now screaming and letting blood out of mouth and eyes, Damn this spell was powerful, it made your body explode inside, you couldn't survive, no one could no matter what. 

I let out a big breath trying to catch some of the energy that just left my body, this spell was so draining but so powerful and satisfying to do. 

"Nagini, dinner, "I said to the gorgeous long snake that was by my side, making sure I was safe before after my uncle died I thought I would give her a little meal and some fun.

I got so tired I needed to sit down besides doing the most draining spell I have ever done. I also haven't been eating or sleeping well. I fell into the chair that was behind me and just rested my head back and closed my eyes. I hear Severus rushing to me, "Y/N, are you ok?" he said with a lot of concern in his voice, he put his hand on my knee and got to my level. I just nod with no energy at all.

"She needs rest, even for me this spell is draining, so take her to the bedroom Severus, in two days she will be going back to Hogwarts," Voldemort said.

"Of course my Lord," he said while picking me up in bridal type, I rested my head against his chest and put my hand on his shoulder.

"WORMTAIL, clean this mess and burn him. Lucius, you can go now." Voldemort yelled, his mind was quite concerned for me, I only felt his emotions nothing else, not a though not even a little one.

Snape's mind on the other side was quite busy, -What am I going to do with her?- She is so gorgeous and perfect- Ah she is fucking with me, and I am letting her. Fuck, she can hear us!"I giggled a little, I looked into his face and strands of his perfect black air were on his face, his dark brown eyes focused on carrying me to the bedroom, just looking at his face it felt like the time stopped and it was just, there wasn't anybody else just us. 

Suddenly I got sat down in bed, I had no energy to barely speak, I just watched Severus taking my shoes off and pulling the covers and some of the pillows off. I didn't even think twice before untieing my hair and getting inside the warm covers I felt an arm underneath my head and a stomach behind me. "Rest Y/N, you need it." his embrace was like warm chocolate milk on a cold night. He smelled like old books and tobacco with a hint of a mint cologne, it was a bittersweet smell, I needed it. 

~~Next morning~~ 

I woke up alone, cold but at least I wasn't tired anymore, I was still in the suit from yesterday, I need to talk to Voldemort. 

I sat up putting my feet in the cold ceramic and taking a big breath I got up and walked to the bathroom taking a warm shower and doing my routine like regular, I had just a robe on when Severus enters the bedroom and looks me up and down like he was taking a mental picture, "Take a picture it would last longer." I said smiling and crossing my arms, he looked in my eyes finally acknowledging me and saying with a slight smirk "The Dark Lord asks for your presence for breakfast so get ready." I smile and remember last night's moments, so before he left I said "Why did you leave me? When I woke up you were gone." he had his back turned against me and didn't say anything, he just continued to walk, uh he messes my mind up.

I went into the black closet I had in the manor and picked up some black laced lingerie, a white blouse, and some black jeans with some jewelry. 

I go down the stairs and enter the dining hall where I say "Good morning everyone." Voldemort turns to me and says "Ah morning dear, I see you rested well." I sat down in my usual spot next to Voldemort and started picking some food, "Yes I did, so when will I be returning to Hogwarts?" I picked some orange juice and a couple pancakes onto my plate, "The day after tomorrow, Draco will go with you since he was to return too." I didn't even notice that there were other people on the table when Bellatrix said "Is she truly going to that stupid school?" I looked at Voldemort and he just looked at Bellatrix and said "Yes Bellatrix she has a task to do, why?" she giggles as I just get a little mad at her: "A task? She has a task and I don't?" Oh, this woman was testing my patience, "Unlike you Bella, I can kill someone correctly." I say that sentence with such sassiness just to remind her of the time she could even kill a stupid muggle born that was following us, I had to do it for her. She looked pissed by now, I continued to eat my pancakes when I said to Voldemort through mind talking -Can I kill her someday? She is getting on my nerves because she has a crush on you- he let a big laugh out and everyone on the table was with their mouths open in shock, I laughed with him, everyone was looking at us, like we were insane, well we are but still, I felt Severus eyes on me as he smirks while drinking his tea. 

-Yes, you can my Dear but we need her for now.- 

-I know, but I swear to Merlin she will get crucied or worse if she doesn't keep her mouth quiet.-

-My darling, don't worry about her.- 

I left out a big sight and when I am done I get up and walk up to Nagini and say "Want to go to the lake?" she just shakes her head, but before I ask Voldemort, "Will she be needed for a couple of hours?" Voldemort just smiles a little and says "No, my darling have fun." I went up to him and put my arms around his neck from behind and said "Thank you, can you ask some useless Death Eater for some chocolate?" he laughs and said "Sure." 

~~In the lake with Nagini~~

"So what's up with you and Potions man?" she asks as I laugh out loud, Merlin I loved this snake for real, "I don't know, one moment he is cold, another we are cuddling and everything is a mess at the moment so I don't have time for stupid cliches and besides he is my teacher." She looks at me with disbelieve in her face, I guess. "He is just afraid of opening up and you are even closer than him, I am your only friend." "Hey, I- ok you are right." I laugh she knew me like almost no one.

We talked about what it felt for hours when I heard a "Y/N, The Dark Lord requests you." Lucius? Normally it is a house-elf, I was suspicious about it, he never had a good thing in mind and he has been trying to make a move on me for years now even if he is married. 

"Ok, one moment." he left and I told Nagini, "This is not going to end well, I can feel he is lying." she nodded her head, and when we entered she climbed the wall and hid on the curtains. 

"Where is Lord Voldemort?" I ask, it was just me and Lucius in the living room, he was looking through the window and said while walking towards me slowly "So curious a teen girl being the Dark Lord's right hand and being so powerful. Yes, indeed very curious." he was now a few inches apart and his hand was stroking through my hair. Oh, he wants a game. 

"Are you testing my abilities, Lucius?" I wanted to make him nervous and scared.

"Oh no, I would never, I saw yesterday your full power, I wonder what else you can do?!" He put his hand to my waist and stepped even closer. I hated this man with full power, for Merlin's sake he is married and has a son that is my friend. 

I get close to his ear and whisper "Touch me again and it would be you." I kissed him on the cheek and left the room.

\-- How would the task go? Will Y/N finally open up? 

some smut will be coming in future chapters, some with details from my DR ;)

Kisses and TPWK


	7. Stay with me!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This contains smut!!!

~~Your POV~~ (Some time skip)  
Back in Hogwarts, everything was normal it was like no one even noticed you were gone, and to be honest, I couldn't care less, I just wanted to do my task and leave this stupid excuse for a school, no friends, not even a simple acquaintance just people. Every time I eat, or at least try too, at the Great Hall I can feel two sets of eyes on my every movement, Severus and Harry, I could tell he was suspicious of me. ~~Present time~~Dinner in this Great Hall used to feel like home but now it feels like it lost all the color and the magic it had, I look at Draco that is right across the table from me, he looks... empty, it's like he is looking everywhere and nowhere at the same, I know what is his feeling, it feels worse than depression, it's like an invisible force just drained all of your reasons to live, but yet you just can't give up. I feel terrible for him, I wish I could be there for him and tell him everything is ok, I am truly sorry. I don't feel like eating at all, I need to refresh myself up, I can't relapse because I feel bad for a guy. I left the Great Hall not noticing that Harry was following me. I felt suffocated, I started to take my green tie off and start to walk faster, I felt on the verge of tears, all the feelings I have been pushing down were all ready to explode and just thinking about my life in an all, the happiness that I only see others feel and never feel, all the good moments I had with "friends", all the laughs, the moments I thought were true and pure happiness were nothing to them and later on to me, it was just like a mask to my life now, it was fake and it didn't last long enough to actually be significant. I cut the corner right after the Great Hall and walked into the bathroom, I placed my hands on the sink and splashed my face with cold water, I felt so suffocated, I wasn't controlling my emotions, I had no idea what happened to me, I was not myself, I took off my jumper in an attempt to calm down probably the biggest panic attack I have ever experienced. I have had bad panic attacks right after becoming a Death Eater, sometimes Voldemort would come and just tell me to breathe and try to calm me down, other times I would be alone in a room or on a bathroom floor, wherever I thought I could cool down. I feel powerless and worthless, who thought? The famous and strong Y/N crying to herself in a bathroom mirror? Suddenly... I hear someone at the door, it's Harry, did he really just throw a spell, I didn't even blink before taking my wand out and thinking of some harmful spells, I didn't care if they were Unforgivable curses, I needed to protect myself. Water was everywhere, I was throwing spells at the walls trying to hit him with at least one but no luck. Out of the blow I heard a spell I didn't recognize "Sectumsempra", I felt a deep cut in my chest, I dropped to the floor, pain took over me, blood was dripping from the cuts on my chest, I couldn't move. "Potter, what did you do? Leave!" Severus, how? "Keep your eyes open for me, please." I couldn't, I fell into a slumber. The last things I hear were some spell that Severus was saying.  
Black.  
~~Snape's POV~~  
I felt bad for following her, but something was wrong and I could feel it. I needed to protect her, and right after she left I noticed stupid Potter follow her. I knew I had to follow them. I stayed a bit behind trying not to raise suspicions. Loud crashes, all I heard from the bathroom. No, no, no, no, no. My mind was all fuzzy I couldn't think clearly I was so concerned about the idiot girl, I could be going against a giant and I wouldn't notice at all, I could barely think. To my biggest fear, when I opened the door, there she was lying on the floor flooded with water and with blood all over her, this was a mess, if I could I would kill Potter right there and then.  
I recognized the spell that Potter hit her with, my own spell, a spell that I created and he used it against her.  
How did he even find out about it? Did he find my book?  
I started muttering the words to heal her, and picked her up bridal style, with a swift of my wand the bathroom was normal again.  
I didn't want people to see her like this in the hallway so I decided to apparate to my chambers, I take my wet robes off and cover her with blankets on my bed and start the fireplace, she was so cold and a little pale, I didn't want to take her clothes off without her consent but she was really cold due to all the water that was in the floor.  
I took a deep breath and find myself get lost in my thoughts I never noticed the birthmark she had on her pinkish round lips and the small scar she had close to her eye right below her eye bag, she wasn't getting a lot of sleep, her eye bags were quite big. Her h/c hair falls down on her cheek, without waking her which I found impossible, I put the same hair strings behind her ear. Gosh, she looks like a goddess, I started to forget she was my student, she looked and had the mind of someone more mature, maybe due to the fact that she had to grow up really fast or maybe she didn't even have a childhood.  
I know about the Moon family but I wonder what her parents did to make her hate them so much, they are long gone by now but no one ever found their bodies, they just disappeared like dust. 

It had been some hours and she was still asleep, so I got someone to get her backpack without being suspicious. I was making some tea when I heard a little whisper:  
"Severus... Severus..." The first thing she thought when she woke up was me, I couldn't stop myself from blushing slightly at that though.  
"Don't go too fast, DeaR. I am here, you are ok." I sit down on the bed close to her and pass my arm over her, she still looks quite pale but nothing a little potion can handle.  
"Are you okay, Severus? He didn't hurt you did he?" She said while sitting up, she was more concerned about me than the fact that she could have died in that bathroom, her care for me makes me happy for some reason, this is a weird feeling, I feel this when I am with her. It's like I found new colors in the world, she makes me feel.  
"Yes I am okay, don't worry, drink this." I handed her the white with a blue detailing teacup.  
"Is this like the other potion you gave me?" She snorts and takes the drink without questioning, she remembered the potion I gave her.  
I was looking so deeply into her e/c eyes, they had like a galaxy inside them, so unique and open but at the same time so cold and depressing. She was the true definition of magic.  
"Thank you, Severus." The way my name flows on her lips and curls on the tip of her tongue makes my heart jump with excitement, she makes something inside me grow.  
I can't take it anymore, I need to taste her lips.  
I grabbed her face gently and softly but passionately pressed her lips against mine, they were perfect, she was perfect.  
She was kissing me back, I knew right there that she had feelings for me too. She softly put her hands on my neck and now our kiss is more passionate and I could feel like the whole world just stopped and stars were around us, there were so many feelings and thoughts going through our mind, she didn't even bother to close it, she knew I could listen and feel them.  
I part our kiss and look into her eyes and ask "Are you sure about this?" She didn't bother to answer, she just placed her lips on mine again, I miss them even if it was just for a few seconds, they were addicting.  
I grab her and place her on my lap with her legs on each one of my sides. Gosh, she was driving me insane, I pushed my tongue into her mouth while she ran her tiny hands through my hair and I ran mine through her back.  
I lift her up and lay her on the bed placing myself between her legs and start to kiss and leave light hickeys on her neck, her moans... Her sweet and soft moans were driving me into cosmic.  
She started to unbutton me but she got a little mad at the amount that they were so I laughed and helped her, I got her skirt and shirt off very fast, she was a masterpiece, a god's work. Oh, Merlin!  
"You are beautiful, Y/N" I continued to kiss her neck and shoulders while she was taking my belt and pants off, I pushed myself against her again.  
I slowly insert myself inside her and she let's out a big gasp.  
"Go slowly, it's my first time." She whispered in my ear, I let her a few moments for her to adjust and when she was ready she moaned in my ear "Harder."  
Her wishes were my command, at first I went slower but she pushed me inside her faster with her hands on my back, her moans were pure music and bliss to my ears.  
I kissed her so I could feel her moans in my mouth, I started getting faster and closer and she was too.  
The last thing I heard was "Ah Severus, fuck." I and her got into a full climax at the same time.  
I let myself rest on top of her and our breathing was in sync and very heavy, I was pretty sure someone would listen to us if they were in the hallway but I didn't care.  
I pushed her on my chest and lifted her chin up and said "I like you, Y/N." she had the biggest smile I have ever seen her do. "I like you too, Severus."  
What did I do to deserve her?  
I pushed the covers onto us and just fell asleep in each other's embrace, I found myself happy and joyful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked this chapter, I think you know what the next chapters await us.  
> Till then ;) TPWK.


	8. Morre Dolore

{A/N: the lasts chapters smut was not like my other smut but I wanted to be small and simple to show more the thoughts of Severus and how he treated her, still hope you liked it, this story is also uploaded on Ao3. TPWK and all the love.}

~~ The next morning and your POV~~

I felt the sunshine on my skin, I looked at the clock on the black nightstand next to the bed where I and Severus were sleeping, his cold and pale hands around my torso, with the back against my back and his black hair on my neck. 

7:27 AM

It's a Saturday, I like Saturdays. I have meetings at night but it's one of the only days I can rest and just relax, and today I finally have company and I have a feeling that today is my major task. 

"You look even more beautiful in the morning sunlight." I hear Severus whisper in my ear, when I turn to him, I notice even more all of his perfection, the way his dark eyes scan every niche of my asking, the way his perfect nose stands perfectly aligned with all of his features, he is just amazing.

"If you take a picture it will last longer, dear." I was staring, God, he had that stupid smirk on his face, I just rolled my eyes and left his warm embrace to go take a shower. "Good morning to you too Severus." I said with some sassiness in my voice, I just hear him snort a little, gosh the things he is making me feel, I can't lose him ever. 

I turn the water to the warmest it gets and when I find it at my liking, I take my robe off and enter, I suddenly hear the door open and the next thing Severus is in the shower with me. 

"Save water, love." I laughed and felt something like it was my first laugh but my first true laugh, what was he doing with me?

After a sweet shower and an amazing breakfast, we were called to a meeting. 

I was wearing a short black silk dress that hit my knee and Severus well, Severus was normal. 

We entered the Malfoy Manor hand in hand, I could sense he was quite tense, maybe he was afraid of me? Maybe he doesn't even like me at all? Stop with these thoughts Y/N!

"Ah my dear, I was getting worried." Voldemort said while getting up from his seat with a wide smile. 

"No need to worry, My Lord, you know me," I said while hugging him, he places a kiss on my forehead and looks at Severus.

"Good to see you, Severus, how are you?" "Quite good, my Lord, you?" Severus had a smirk placed on his lips and looked straight at me. 

"Better now that Miss Moon is here. Dear, go sit down." He let go of me and I left his embrace and sat down like always next to his high chair, some Death Eaters were there but not everyone only The Lestrange Brothers, Bellatrix, Draco, Lucius, Narcissa, Wormtail, and Barty. My chair is warm, someone has been sitting here.

"My Lord, how dared to sit in my place?" I ask while putting my hands on the table and getting up from the seat. 

"I- I did, Miss Moon." Wormtail, that stupid excuse of a rat, how dare he? 

"Why did you sit in my seat?" I was getting quite angry, he still didn't respect me, oh but he will. 

I took out my wand and didn't even say the spell that caused him pain, it wasn't as bad as a Cruciatus curse but it was bad. 

"Now, dear, don't let him bother you, and let's get to the talk," Voldemort said, bringing me back to reality. 

"Right, so is it today?" I said with so much anxiety in my words, I can't wait.

"Yes, Draco found a way for some Death Eaters to get inside, but only to take Severus with you."

I felt anxious and nervous, I was going to do it after so long I was going to kill Dumbledore. 

After so many more meeting talks, I and Severus left and appeared at Hogwarts again, I didn't say a word. I just went to the Astronomy Tower. I felt that I had to be there, every step I took it seemed like my shoes were burning acid into the floor, I couldn't describe how I felt. 

It was like the power of the universe was with me and on my hands, they were burning hot. I never felt this powerful.

I took the last step of the tower and felt the breeze of the cold air on my cheeks. I saw Dumbledore looking at the beautiful view that was in front of him, the weather was quite peculiar.

"I was waiting for you, Miss Moon." I didn't know where Severus was but I needed to do this with or without him. He said while turning to me, he looked tired. I point my wand at him, he doesn't move.

"What do you mean?" I was curious about what he meant by "waiting?".

"You see Miss Moon, I was expecting you, I have been kipping a close eye on you since you first entered Hogwarts, I know everything about you." He never changed his tone or his position. 

"You think you do. If you knew so much you never tried to stop what my parents did to me, you never cared, I always saw you treat Harry and his little puppies like they were Saints while I and others weren't even close to getting to a little of you. I thought that I needed to be good and do things to make others proud." I started to feel myself tear up, every word coming out of my mouth was the truth and nothing else. "I never felt happy or felt like I made anyone happy but once I met Voldemort I felt someone cared, that I finally had a similar father figure. So don't come with the little speech to find the good and the light, because there isn't any light in me, only the light to my secrets." 

I was so focused on this moment that I didn't feel any other auras around, I thought I was clear but I was wrong and I found that out very later. 

"Y/N, there is still hope." I couldn't believe this man's words. 

"No there isn't, I need to do this, for me, for Voldemort." 

"I trust you to end this, Y/N, please." I didn't need much talk with him, I was done, I cleaned some tears that left my eyes to my cheeks, and...

With a flick of my wand and my words "Morre Dolore." The purple light flashed from my wand and energy radiated from my body. 

He fell. I walked slowly to the edge of the balcony to see him on the floor with blood all over his robes, the wind felt amazing, I knew he was dead, his aura disappeared. 

I was exhausted and drained the spell still takes some much out of me. When I turned around I saw Severus looking at me, I couldn't read his expression. It looked shocking but disappointing. 

"Severus..." I tried to say something but no words came out of my mouth besides his name, I felt all my energy come back after I heard Bellatrix's stupid laugh at the end of the stairs. 

"Let's go, we need to leave." I couldn't think of anything besides the words I just said. But before going to the stairs, I hugged Severus and whispered to his neck while I was on tippy toes. "I am sorry, I love you." 

I left his embrace and he took his cold pale hands from my back, I couldn't look him in the eyes just yet. 

We all apparated to the Malfoy Manor.


	9. The aftermath

~~Some time skip and your POV~~

The news spread like crazy: "Dumbledore's death was a true mystery." That's all the headlines of the Daily Prophet said, It been 2 days and thank God no one even had a clue, I am still resting, I haven't talked to either Severus, Voldemort or Draco, I wasn't much willingly to anyway, I just wanted a break to focus on myself, I still couldn't believe I slept with my Potion's Teacher, for some reason I don't remember much details just that was good but still. 

I was sitting on the sofa close to the window just looking at the huge backyard, the pool, the flowers blooming as it was close to spring, the brown and gross mud was now becoming green and pretty. 

My mind was calm but still full of thoughts, I felt dirty, I never felt this when other people died by my hands but the feeling that it was Dumbledore and that Severus saw it makes me feel grossed out and just unclean. 

Thoughts like this lived on my mind, I was tired but I was going back to Hogwarts tomorrow and probably to face Severus, our night was on my mind but not all the time, I couldn't stop myself from feeling like an object and like I always did about people, feeling like I didn't matter, just a ... toy.

I started packing some of the clothes that I gave the elves to wash and folded them carefully and placed them in my trunk, the memories that flesh from this object, buying it with my grandparents, getting my wand, and leaving Mr. Ollivander scared to death when I almost exploded the store, meeting my now ex-friends at the train, and buying my first chocolate frog from the trolley lady, such a nice soul, and watching all the magic of entering for the first time the gates of Hogwarts. 

I feel a small tear escape my eye and quickly wipe them away. I hate crying, and just the fact that it is for these stupid memories is just hugh. 

~~The day after, still your POV~~

Now that McGonagal is the headmistress, the Gryffindors have been more awake, Slytherins have been even more judged and harassed in the hallways, in quidditch, in the Great Hall, everywhere, being called Death Eaters, evil, and traitors, it didn't hurt me at all, I couldn't care less but I could tell the younger Slytherins did. It was cruel to watch kids crying because of what people call them.

I am now sitting in the Library just focusing on the book I was reading about Muggles, I found them intriguing, the way they are similar to us but so different, they judge skin color, not blood status, they were too emotional and they let themselves became their emotions. 

I could feel the burning gaze of someone in me, I looked up to see Harry Potter looking straight at me through the round glasses on his face. 

He stood up and walked towards me, he looked like he hadn't been sleeping in weeks. 

He walked past me, leaving a note on the desk saying «I know.» He knew what? Me killing Dumbledore? Me just killing in general? Me being a Death Eater? 

I went after him after grabbing my stuff and followed him through the halls. 

"Harry, you better stop walking and tell me what you know. Now" I had my voice full of confidence, I wasn't scared of glasses boy when I dealt with much scarier man in my early teens. 

"I know what you did, I was there Y/N" He looked miserable like his own thoughts were devouring him alive. 

"Where, Harry?" The hallway was empty and everyone must be at lunch. I was getting nervous by the millisecond. 

"When you killed him. I was beneath you, I saw and heard everything, how dare you come back?" Oh, I just wanted to kill him right now, but no I needed to say something. 

"I didn't have a choice, I had to do it." I started fake crying and trying to pretend to have sad emotions and saying that I didn't have a choice was just the perfect way. 

"What spelling was that? The name and the color... I have never seen that before, explain to me that and I couldn't care less about you." Oh fuck, what was I going to explain? Think, Y/N, think!

"A spell I read once in a book on the restricted section." I lied with every cell on my body, no one knew about this spell or how it works beside me and Voldemort, I wanted to keep it that way.

With that he turns on his heels and leaves to somewhere I didn't care enough to follow him, I needed to get to potions. 

When arriving in potions I noticed I was way earlier than needed. 

"Hey, Severus. Sorry for coming too early." He was writing on a paper when I started to slowly walk to his desk, and he slowly looking at me, I miss him more than I thought I would.

"It's quite alright, we need to talk anyway." He got up from his chair and slowly started to walk around the table and placed himself in front of me.

"I am sorry I have been distant, I couldn't bear to look at you." I never left the floor with my eyes.

"And why is that?" He said while lifting my chin with his white pale and cold as ice fingers.

"I feel gross, I killed him, your friend and you saw it, besides you may just think I am a one night stand." I was trying hard to stay inside, I was just empty.

"You aren't just a one-night stand, and I don't dislike you, you are more important." He pressed a soft kiss on my lips, just the perfect amount of time. 

"I miss them." 

[A/N: so writing is been reallyyyyy hard because of school but I am trying.

All the love, TPWK. ;)]


	10. The Order

~~Your POV~~ (Sometimes skip because I want to)

It's been some time since I and Severus talked about our... feelings. I still can't believe I have feelings for someone. 

What is weird is that I haven't seen him in two days. He missed class and today I got a letter when I woke up, but I was late so I just put it on my shuffle bag and still haven't read it. So now I am in a stupid divination class and I am bored and sleepy so I decided to look into it. 

I opened the letter really carefully due to how wet it was. It was raining a lot today more than other regular days. The entire day has a weird atmosphere; it feels darker, sadder, I have a gut feeling that something really bad is going to happen. 

"Dear Y/N, 

Meet me in my chambers at 7 PM, 

Severus."

The rest of the day was normal classes, but I was trying to keep myself awake for most of them.

When 7 pm come around, I put a hoodie on with a black pair of leggings and, of course, my wand. I was not sure what to expect and if it was even him or not so I went prepared for it.

Why are these damn dungeons so cold after all? Why do they keep us here? 

~~Snape's POV~~

The guilt of not telling Y/N that I am a double agent even if she killed Dumbledore my trust is still in him and the Order, and I know that by not telling her I am breaking her trust, the thing I took so long to build, the walls I had to destroy that took her so long to build and so short to put them back up again.

I spent these days at the Order, but the remorse and thought of her have been living on my mind, I can barely sleep with my thoughts, it feels like a non-ending tsunami, so heavy and draining, it's like they are eating me alive at this point. I asked her to meet me at my chambers, I already she is going to react terribly but I still have some hope. 

I hear a knock on my door, I know it's her.

"Enter." 

"Severus, where were you?" She said those words with such innocence and care, I just wanted to tell her right there and then that the person she trusted as been going against her and the Dark Lord, almost the person who raised her, but I still loved her and would do anything for her. 

Love? Woah, I haven't said that word since Lily, it still feels weird and new to finally feel love for someone new.

"Dear, I need to tell you something I have been hiding from you." I noticed that she had that look she did when she was nervous and worried, I can understand why. 

"Is everything ok? Severus, you are scaring me." She isn't making this easier, she just tried to reach for my hand but I turned away from her, I can't look at them, those e/c eyes, so perfect, so... deadly. 

"This may break everything we have ever worked for in our relationship but this burden and guilt are burning me inside, and I have to tell you this. Y/N, I am not loyal to the Dark Lord, I am a double agent to The Order Of The Phoenix, it was created by Dumbledore when the Dark Lord first appeared, even if you killed Dumbledore I am loyal to him." The words feel out of my mouth like I was running a marathon, my heart rate was super fast. She... 

She is crying... But not a single facial expression. 

~~Your POV~~

I was dreaming, this needs to be a dream, he is lying. No. 

I was speechless, no words were on my brain just another distrust, no, not any distrust, but his. 

I felt a single tear roll down my cheek, but even if there a liquid rolling out of my eye, I didn't show any facial expression. I was still trying to find the vocabulary to explain the pain at that moment but just blank. 

"How- How could you?" I just wanted to hex him or cause him pain, something to show how much it hurts just to hear those words. 

"I am sorry, Y/N." Just as he was going to embrace me I turned around and started to walk away. Even his face hurts just to look at it. The person I let in, the person I learned to... love. Finding love, as did the worst thing to me, killing me would have been better.

"I won't tell Voldemort, but when it gets time, I won't protect you from him." What was I saying? Of course, I would. But I am too suffering. 

I started running to the Forbidden Forest into my comfort spot... The Lake. 

The only place I was 100% sure that no one was going there. It brought me peace and comfort like a mother's hug, a mother that loves her own kid, yet I never had those hugs, I thought that is how they would feel. 

When I arrive there I quickly take my clothes off and get inside the water, the cold and crispy water goes through my skin and immediately I feel my temperature drop. 

I put my head underwater and feel the silence and calm of it.


	11. Drowning

~~Your POV~~

Drowning. 

Some people worst fears. Others biggest desire.

The feeling of letting go. 

Take that big full breath, feeling your lungs get full and expanding. 

You find peace, that subtle feeling of letting every little stress go. 

But when you put your head out of the water you find those same issues again. 

Maybe I should let go, maybe I shouldn't. But this desire of proving to others that I am better than them and that I can do what I want is bigger. 

After watching the moon go up the sky and seeing all the stars, it made me feel tiny but still powerful like the whole universe was watching my every move, and instead of feeling frightened I feel unafraid and excited. 

But... he is missing, that little peace of me that gained a dependency on him needs him, his warm and cold embrace, his tiny love language, his scent of old books, leather, and that tiny hint of mint that followed him everywhere, I was addicted. 

I got dressed and laid down on the ground, trying to stop the slight shiver that had gotten over me due to the cold of the water. 

I started walking back into the school back again, I looked at the pocket watch I had in my robe and saw its way past curfew, if I get caught by Filch I will never forgive myself.

I took off my shoes to not make more noise and tippy-toed to the dungeons. 

"Y/N, where were you?" Him. Of course, Mr. Filch where are you bud? I started to turn around slowly.

"Why do you care?" I said those exact words without even thinking, I felt like maybe I was overreacting, to say the least, but still I was hurt and he had to at bare minimum try to understand.

"Because- I-" He was stuttering like he was trying to find the words to say and I didn't have the patience. 

"You what? Just say it." He started to walk towards me so quickly, that I only had time to back up into the wall behind me. 

He was close, very close. 

"Fuck it." The gap that was once the length of his arm was now closed by his lips on mine and his hands on my face caressing slowly my cheeks with his thumbs.

Y/N! Stop it. He is a traitor. 

When I finally fell into the present after 40 seconds of his lips on mine. I pushed him away. 

"No, don't even think I will forgive this fast." I was pissed, the range was all over me, the sadness that used to fill me before was now pure anger or maybe... lust, no what? No. Not right now.

"Y/N, I am so sorry." Again. That heartache. That feeling of being stabbed right on the wound that never closed, again and again. Like a crushing lair of needles just went through your heart, the person you thought was special and had that sweet side but you were wrong.

"No, you are not sorry, you are on the other side Severus, you may even need to kill me at one point." These words, the words I never thought would come out of my mouth just did.

"I would never." I couldn't. I couldn't bear to be doing this.

"Goodnight... Professor." I left. He didn't say anything else but his mind, oh. It was quite full.

I continued to my dorm and just drowned on my bed. 

[A/N: Sorry for being so short and for maybe not being too good, I liked the picture way too much to not put in ;). Be safe, TPWK, all the love.]


	12. Unbroke the broken

~~Snape's POV, a week later~~

I miss her, so much. It's been a week since I spoke to her and even if I told her the truth it doesn't mean the burden of it left my mind, it's like her image it is engraved on my mind, memories, and current thoughts. 

A week, it's too much time. I saw that she has moved on to that boy, Malfoy, maybe she has already forgotten me. 

She has been ignoring me, pretending I don't exist. 

Did she mean it when she said "I love you." A few days ago, before this... mess.

But the moment I turned on the corner of the hallways of the school I am now Headmaster off, there she was, on a bench, reading some book, back against the wall, biting her lips ass trying to put all the information she is reading into her mind, her e/c looking so... hollow. It looks like every color she had was sucked by a Dementor or some creature of that type, she was alive that's for sure but still, she looks numb. 

Did I do that to her? Did I remove all of her colors? Her perfect smile? What have I done? I lost her. My biggest fear came true, I extinguished all her happiness because I was selfish. 

Severus, you did it again. You put yourself first and lost her. Can you believe it? 

I mentally curse at myself for doing what I am about to do but I don't have anything else to lose do I?

I sat myself beside her feet and pulled all of my strength together as I spoke up. 

"Y/N, can we speak?" My eyes were focused on the floor in front of me and my hands rested on my legs, I felt tiny. She made me feel... tiny. 

"Is there anything else to say, Severus?" She put the book down on her lap as she looked straight at the window and saw how much it was raining, just like the day I told her.

"You have been avoiding me and you seem..." 

"I am fine Professor." She spoke before I could finish, and there it was the word I hated that she called me, "Professor." 

"Y/N, is everything ok?" Malfoy, what did he want? 

"Yes Draco, I was just leaving. Bye Professor." She got up and walked away so quickly that I felt a little breeze. 

I was going to lose her, to Malfoy, just like I lost Lily to Potter. 

I shuffle back to my chambers, alone. Where I sat at my desk and started working, doing the only thing I could do to get myself distracted from her getting through my thoughts again. 

~~Your Pov~~ 

I walked through the hallways with Draco going back to our dorms, leaving Severus like that was truly a little painful but it was more painful to hear his voice or to just see him in general. 

Out of nowhere, I felt a sharp pain in my arm. Lord Voldemort, this is very random. Something is wrong. 

"Draco, go ahead without me, I need to grab something." 

He just nodded and continued walking down the long hallway.

I turned around and started running towards somewhere empty and without windows so I could apparate, when I did I immediately turned myself in the black smoke I found comfort and peace.

Once at the gate of the Manor, I use my wand to cast a small spell to change my uniform into a black suit and some hells. 

Once inside, I see Wormtail, that filthy rat excuse of a creature. 

"Wormtail, where is the Dark Lord?" He jumped at the sound of my voice, was he not expecting me? 

"Miss, what are you doing here?" He looked curious and confused by my presence. 

"I was called-" 

"There you are my darling." Lord Voldemort interrupted me, his voice echoed behind me so I turned around quite quickly and went for a hug. His embrace for more years that pass never change. 

"Is everything ok, My lord?" I had my hands now below his arms and left his embrace. 

"I am afraid I may need you for the night, I need to get something that belongs to us."

"Where is it? Do I need to worry?" Tasks like this were normal but in a school week, it was irregular.

"No need to worry, I need you to take Bellatrix, Lucius, and some more to the Ministry, there is a prophecy, in the Departement of Mysteries." 

"What does the prophecy say, my Lord?" 

"The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches... born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies... and the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal, but he will have power the Dark Lord knows not... and either must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives... the one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord will be born as the seventh month dies...." 

"Merlin, are you sure about me going my Lord?" This task was big and important, I was nervous about it, the nerves in my body started to heat it up and to make me uncomfortable on my own skin. 

"Yes, Y/N, I trust you, do this task and you will get a new mark." A new mark? He didn't even give me a mark for Dumbledore, this is really important. 

"And if I fail?" I need to know that for insurance of myself. 

"Then at least manage a kill. I still want to give you the mark, my darling."

"My Lord, excuse me, but when can I get another mark?" Stupid Wormtail, I will kill that rat someday write that down. 

"Never." Well, that answer was quick, I just burst out laughing. 

Wormtail felt bad so he immediately left the room. I was close by the window, the short moment of laughter made me relax a bit before the wave of stress, nervousness and anxiety crashed down again on me. 

I can't fail this. 

[A/N: I love to write, and once more I am truly sorry for any mistakes in grammar and spelling. 

I know I may suck but I hope you like this story.

Be safe, all the love and ALWAYS TPWK ;)]


	13. Insane

~~Y/N's POV~~

This is it. 

The Ministry of Magic, right in front of me, its grandiosity and sense of power are unimaginable, the statues, the ceiling, everything feels powerful. But I am not here to look, I am here for a task, to find that damn prophecy. 

The Death Eaters followed behind me while Lucius and Bellatrix were beside me, the tension was on the ruff. After a while, we reached the door that had "Departement of mysteries" written on it. 

I opened the door, wand in my right hand, while my dark robe was brushing on the floor, I had the famous Death Eater Mask on but was ready to take it off, they are very uncomfortable and stupid, Mr. Bleached Hair wanted them so we brought them.

The infinite hallways and the tall shelves gave the sensation of space almost as if you were floating in the middle of the Universe. 

At the very end of it I saw a blue light, I knew it, Harry and his friends came for the same thing as us, why didn't I think of this before, of course, they would come. 

Harry, Luna, Hermoine, Ron, Neville, and Ginny were in a circle once they noticed our presence. 

I noticed that on Harry's hand was the prophecy, a blue crystal ball with a blue looking smoke inside.

Lucius positioned himself in front of me and started walking towards them and took off his mask, I was still behind him on his left when Bellatrix started walking to his right and said. 

"Where is Sirius?" Sirius Black, Harry's Godfather. Harry was in front of his group with the thing I needed the most so carelessly in his hands. 

"You know you should really be able to tell the difference between dreams and reality. You saw what the Dark Lord wanted you to see. Now hand me the prophecy." Lucius was asserting his dominance and it was, quite frightening but I didn't move, just watching knowing if they made a mistake the Voldemort was going to know from me, Voldemort has talked to me about controlling Harry's dreams and mind but I was sure it wasn't going to last, especially with Severus in their side.

"If you do anything to us, I will break it." Not in my watch, I started walking slowly towards Lucius again. 

"Look, he has gotten brave." I said in a joking tone. 

"Y/N, is that you?" Hermoine, noisy as always, and before I could answer I heard Bellatrix's eccentric laugh. 

"He knows who to play. Ity, pity baby." Gosh, this woman is insane but somewhat hot, even if I want to kill her sometimes. 

"Bellatrix Lestrange?!" Neville spoke. I remembered what happened to his parents, terrible and awful, I could understand his rage towards this crazy woman. 

"Neville Longbottom is it? How is mom and dad?" Oh, she just opened a wound that hadn't healed yet. 

"Better now they are about to be avenged." They all had their wands pointed towards us 3, but when Neville raised his wand I raised mine and Bellatrix did the same, when Lucius placed his hands in each of us to calm us down or to just signalize to wait. 

"Let's all calm down, all we need is that prophecy." I couldn't tell what Lucius was trying to do, either trying to win their trust or just being stupid. 

"Why does Voldemort needed me to come and get this?" How dare he? 

"You dare to speak his name?" I said almost angry that he dared to use it. 

"You filthy half-blood." I hated these terms, how people were put into boxes due to their past, even though I am pureblood it doesn't mean I find others less than me.

-Surround them.- I told all of the other Death Eaters presents by entering their mind. The next thing they were surrounded. They looked terrified, to be honest, but I couldn't care less. 

"Have you never wondered what is the connection between you and the Dark Lord?" Lucius said while we were getting closer and closer to them. 

"Why was he unable to kill you, when you were just an infant? Don't you want to know the secret of your scar? The only answer to that, Potter, in your hand, all you have to do is give it to me and I can show you everything." This man is either very smart and is bluffing or very stupid. 

I could hear the steps of the other Death Eaters in the room and the eco of them.

"I have waited so many years, I guess I can wait a little longer. Now." Bad idea, Harry. 

"Stupify." They all said in unison how bad practice they have to be saying their spells out loud.

Then they started running, I hated running especially in these damn clothes. 

I apparated in front of Harry, Hermoine, and Ron. 

"Stupify." That spell was said so many times. Did they not know any more spells? 

Miss Granger decided it was a great idea to take down some prophecies and start a tsunami of them.

"Reducto." Ginny yelled almost hitting me with that spell in the way. Now they were getting on my nerves.

Suddenly we were in some sort of hidden place with a specific portal. The energy that radiated from it was similar to a Dementor's one.

Some Death Eaters were able to catch the others while I and Lucius left Harry to see them. 

"Give it, Harry." I was getting very tired of this rat and mouse situation.

"Why are you doing this, Y/N?" Hermoine I swear if I could I would hex you. 

I finally decided to take off my mask.

"Because I want to too, and because I can." I felt confident, maybe this could actually work out.

But out of nowhere, people showed up, I know them. 

"Oh, take a look at this famous Order of The Phoenix, I wish I could introduce myself a bit better but he has something that belongs to us." I was asserting my dominance and I wasn't going to let my confidence out. 

Spells were being cast, and everyone was fighting, I never used speaking spells, I could be used against me.

In between spells, the stupid Lucius broke the prophecy on the floor, I cursed myself mentally for not doing anything. 

I saw in the corner of my eye I saw Lucius fighting Harry and Sirius alone, that's when Voldemort's words echoed in my head - At least get a kill.- 

I cast the killing curse on the person that I was fighting, so weak they were, it wasn't much of a fight.

Once I was going for Sirius and Harry I heard Bellatrix kill Sirius. 

His dead body was being pulled into the portal, I felt a little bad for Harry when he yelled for Sirius. 

I immediately apparated out of there and went away. 

Back again in the main part of the Ministry of Magic. 

"Crucio." Harry just hit me with a Cruciatus Curse, even though I didn't feel pain like that curse implicates I did fall to the ground, I turned around and looked up Harry was there, pale and looking like he was possessed, I knew it. Voldemort was taking control of his mind by playing tricks. 

I immediately went into the chimney and teleported into the Manor again. 

I was disappointed with myself. 

"My dear, Y/N, are you ok?" Voldemort stormed into the room, he tried to search for my body for scratches.

"I am, but I didn't get the prophecy." I felt terrible with myself, I had one task and failed. 

"Don't worry, did you get a kill?" The new mark. 

"I did, some random worker at the Ministry." 

"That's good, my child. Can I?" He said while pulling out his wand, I took out my robe and exposed my upper arm, the pain strikes like lightning. I gasped at how painful it was, but I wanted it more than anything.

Once done I got closer to a mirror on the black marbled wall, and saw the beautiful snake surrounded by flames, the skin around it was red and quite sensitive but it was amazing. 

"Thank you so much, my Lord." I gave him a slight hug.

[A/N: So the timeline on this book is messed up because I have an amazing idea and I do not plan to end well. I hope you enjoy it. Get ready, I feel the end coming soon. 

Once more, English is not my first language so pardon any mistakes.

All the love, be safe and TPWK. ;) ]


	14. The Ball

WARNING: IN THIS CHAPTER THERE WILL BE!!S M U T!! IF YOU DONT FEEL COMFORTABLE READ UNTIL I HAVE A LEFT SIGN. 

~~Snape's POV~~

I heard from sources what happened at the department of mysteries with Y/N and the others Death Eaters and how only some of them went to Askaban, and all I could ask myself right now was if Y/N was one of those, but I knew deep down she wouldn't, she is way too strong to be caught but that didn't stop me worrying. 

I have been staying at my house since I was kicked out of Hogwarts, Potter was getting too suspicious of me and Minerva believed his filthy words over mine, and I didn't blame her but it still doesn't mean it didn't hurt me deeply, we never had a close relationship but we were co-workers and friends. But it didn't matter, in the days that we are living it one of each. 

I couldn't help but feel alone in this house, it was in her arms where it felt like home. 

Tonight there was a Ball at the Malfoy Manor, and the only thought living in my mind was her. Y/N. How could such a creature, so deadly, dangerous, and powerful look so innocent, kind, and, just overall, the definition of perfect? I remember our night, the night I saw new colors in this world, the night I thought that she would be mine for eternity, the day I felt affection and what making love was, not just sex but love. 

I put on a black, as usual, outfit and some black shoes. I tried to do something with my hair but it looked the same. I looked in the mirror in front of me and saw the insecurities I hated so much, my big nose and my cheeks, she made them disappear. 

~~Y/N's POV~~ 

Today we had a Ball at the Manor, I enjoyed these Balls, it was the time I could see old friends, dress up and most importantly drink. I have been needing one of these for a long time now it's a perfect time, even with a war coming up Voldemort and the Malfoys making time for one. 

I have been having a hard time choosing between a black suit or a black silk dress with lace details on the top. (Imagine which one you like the most.) 

I put on my outfit and do a light natural make just the perfect amount to hide most of my so-called "imperfections", I was always very insecure about my figure but that night with Severus made me forget it for just some minutes it felt nice and safe. His embrace and arms made me feel at home, made me feel secure and loved. I wish I could feel that just once more. 

I put my hair the way I thought it was appropriate. I always love my hair, my h/l (hair length), my h/t (hair type), and my h/c (hair color). I used to hate it when I was a child but as I grew up I understood how pretty it was. 

There was going to be a gathering of around 30 people, only the Death Eaters, and some more guests, around 10 pm most guests were already at the Manor on the first floor, the floor made for these type of events, the huge chandelier I was always mesmerized with when turned on the flame in the candles would make the crystals shine and seem like diamonds made.

I started walking down the stairs to see some familiar faces like Wormtail and Voldemort right at the end of the stairs but when I took another step down I looked right into his dark soul-sucking eyes that I could look into for hours and not even feel the need to say a single word. 

I was staring, when I fell into reality I started walking down the stairs again. When I reached the end of the stairs, Voldemort gave me a slight hug and with his arm around my shoulder he spooked up. 

"We are all here today to remember what we are. Death Eaters." When he ended everyone clapped and cheered, most people had drinks in their hands and seemed like they were having fun. 

"The girl right next to me is Y/N Moon, very smart, astonishing girl, could kill you all in the blink of an eye because I personally trained her for years, and not once as she let me down once, some of yall are alive because of her, and some dead. She is my right hand in everything, and I trust her with my life. So let's all do a toast to Y/N." 

"TO Y/N." Everyone shouted as they held their glasses and after taking a big sip, I looked at Severus and noticed immediately that he was looking at me, with a big smirk on his lips. Oh, this was going to be a long night. 

After talking to some guests and drinking here and then I felt myself getting tipsy, the music sounded more muffled and my thoughts were getting more stupid. I looked around trying to find Severus, I wasn't thinking clearly but I couldn't care less at this point. Once my eyes caught his dark ones I immediately grabbed a glass of fire whiskey and drank it in one sip, I walked close to him, he was talking with someone's wife. 

"Beat it," I said to her, I need him and she was getting in the way.

"Who are you anyway?" Oh, was she for real? 

"Are you deaf?" I turned my eyes in her direction and looked her in the eye thinking of some spell I could use. I heard Severus snort a laugh, I bet he was enjoying this, he loved seeing me pissed. 

"No, but if you don't want trouble, beat it." She looked terrified when she noticed who I was and just immediately placed her head down and walked away. 

!!SMUT!! CONTINUE TO YOUR OWN RISK!!

"Come." I grabbed his hand and he didn't even protest about it, he just went with me. I started walking up the stairs up to my room, when out of nowhere he places his on hips and pushes me against the wall, the gap between us was only present for a few moments before being closed by his lips on mine, I miss those lips so much. 

He broke the kiss and placed his hand on my neck and whispered in my ear, "Don't do something you will regret or can't finish." I kissed him deeply and removed his hand from my neck.

"The same to you." I started walking into the room and the moment I entered, I was pushed against the door by him, lips crashing on mine again, my mind was blurry at this point but I couldn't care less, this moment was me and him, nothing else mattered anymore. I felt a little bad for doing this but I needed it, I felt addicted.

His hands were trailing all over my body like he was trying to take in all of my body curves. Every detail, he was making every detail engraved into his mind and I was doing the same. I started to unbutton his jacket and all the stupid amount of buttons, when I finally got the hang of it, he had already taken my outfit off and I was only on my underwear by this point.

I can't wait any longer, I pushed him to the bed making him be on his back, I could tell he was smiling so hard just by the way his hands traced the outline of my body while I kissed his neck and took his shirt off, I knew he was insecure of himself so I made sure to not leave a single place unkissed.

Once I placed my hand on his belt and unbuckled he chuckled and said "This time I won't be so sweet."

He turned me around laying my stomach on the bed and placing my hands around my back, I heard his belt being taken off really fast and, the next thing my hands were being cuffed together with his belt and my bra unclipped. 

I heard shuffling behind me so I guessed he was taking his clothes off but what I didn't expect was for him to open my legs and to stick my butt out, he gave it a few strokes before smacking in very hard. I gasped at the sudden cause of the burn I felt, but I dint even had time to recover from one when another one, and another, and more 3. I felt a small amount of water in my eyes. He massaged it and immediately took off my panties, leaving me now completely naked. 

I was trying to recover from the unexpected spanking when I felt two of his fingers inside me and his thumb rubbing my clit, due to the sudden feeling of immense pleasure I tried to shut my moans by covering my mouth with the sheets of the bed but he grabbed my hair and pulled my head towards his shoulder and whispered on my ear.

"I want to hear from you." He let go of my hair, pushing my upper body against the bed again and taking his fingers from inside me, he placed his face close to my cheek and sticking his fingers on my mouth.

"Taste yourself." I did what he said by sucking them thoroughly. 

He smacked my ass once more and pushed his dick inside me very hard and all of his length in making me gasp for air at the sudden pleasure, he took his dick off inside me and rubbed it in the outside before inserting it again very roughly once again. I moan very loudly but I'm afraid that other people may listen to us right now.

He started rubbing my ass while pushing himself in and out of me multiple times not giving me any time to adjust to his big length.

He took the belt off my wrists and threw it into the corner of the bedroom after he turned me around once more and leaned in close to me, now being in a missionary position, he started to kiss me, and in between kisses he puts all of himself into me again making me moan loudly in lips, his tongue begging for entrance, which I did. 

He started to fasten his pace after a few minutes and a not in my stomach started to form. Our kiss was becoming wet due to our saliva and our moans were making our tongues vibrate against each other. 

"Fuck Y/N~~." I needed more, more of him. 

"Faster, please," I beg trying not to seem desperate but I was. 

He did as I asked, and after he went faster I felt myself coming closer to full climax. 

"Severus I am going to cum." 

"Wait a little longer." I was trying really hard not to cum when he became floppy and came inside me, and immediately lowering himself and looking up at me he started to suck my clit so hard it didn't take long before I came as well. 

"Fuck, Severus~~." I pushed my head back and grabbed his hair and arched my bag, this was my second orgasm but it felt like I was exploding with electricity.

After that, we laid down on the bed and curled up inside the sheets not caring to put any clothes on sleep cuddling, I got a little sore but I was sure in a few days it would go away. 

[A/N: the playlist, in the beginning, is the songs I listened to while writing this so I thought it would go perfectly with it. I hope you like the smut, if you would like anything different just comment on it, the story is about to end btw. 

All the love, be safe, wear a mask, and most importantly, TPWK ;)]


	15. Upcoming

~~Y/N's POV~~ 

I woke up in the morning with two arms around my waist, my head was pounding, I drank way too much the night before. When I fell into reality I almost felt like I could kill myself, why would I do that to myself? 

"Good morning Sunshine." Oh, no. Not his morning voice, it's so... deep. 

I took his arms off my waist and quickly got up and started to get dressed.

"Where are you going?" His voice ranged on my head like pure music, I loved it, I wanted to hear it every day all day, but I couldn't. Why does stuff have to be like this?

"Out." I tried to be as blunt as possible, I didn't want anymore conversation. 

"Y/N, please don't leave, we need to talk." I needed to leave fast, I was planning on just pretending this never happened, I need to keep my feelings down for this, the more I see him or hear his voice more love and affection I want to give him but I can't ...

I finished getting dressed in a couple of seconds and with the heels still in my hand I burst out of the room as fast as I could and started to run to my room. I entered the room and pressed my back against the door, letting my knees press against my chest and trying to control my breathing, tears started to try to escape my eyes, all of this image I put up in front of others is tiring when all I want is to end this damn thing and be on his arms and his only. 

After a few minutes of what felt like an hour, I calmed myself down and walked to the bathroom, I looked straight into the mirror and saw how puffy and red they were. I decided to have a shower, I felt the hot water touch my cold skin and it felt so magical, 5and change into a nightgown, I just wanted to feel somewhat comfortable. 

I sat at my desk, a place where I look into my soul and search for answers, I write letters, random stories, and what is going on with me. 

I have written some letters to people as if something ever happened to me but they aren't in my life anymore so I keep them in a stack on the back of the drawer next to my desk, now everything that is written on the paper is a simple mess, feelings, and a piece of what I think. Without thinking twice I started writing, the quill moved in my hand like pure bliss, I felt in control, the world suddenly was quiet and I could find some inner peace. I felt like I was myself again, not just a fake but me. I decided I was going to write something similar to a letter, I knew that was necessary and that it would come sooner or later so better now than ever.

I wrote and wrote till I couldn't feel my hand, and ran out of ink, and when I looked up from my desk it was night, I have been so focused I didn't notice how much time I took and how hungry I was. 

It was kinda cold so I put a robe on, I started to walk towards the kitchen when I passed through a room and heard some mumbling, curiosity always got the best of me so I decided to put my ear closer to the door and heard, "A Horcrux, she is a Horcrux, Severus. I made 7 of them, I feel like Potter has been destroying some and the only ones still standing are Nagini, the Diadem, and her, the war is closer I can feel it, don't let anything happen to her Severus."

Horcrux? What is it? I have heard it somewhere but where? Maybe in some books in the library? 

"Don't worry my Lord, I will protect her with everything I have, Y/N is not going anywhere." Me? Am I the Horcrux? This isn't making any sense.

I took my ear out of the door and ran to the library, thankfully it was on the same floor as my bedroom, I started to look deeply into each book on my way, making a pile of books in each section, even forgetting my hunger that changed into adrenaline, I needed answers. 

After half an hour and about 100 books, I found one that seemed like it had the answer, the cover said in golden letters "Objects of dark magic", I read the index and on page 37 it had the answer. 

" Horcrux 

A Horcrux is a powerful object in which a Dark wizard or witch has hidden a fragment of his or her would for the purpose of attaining immortality. Creating one Horcrux gives one the ability to anchor one's own soul to earth if the body is destroyed; the more Horcruxes one creates, the closer one is to true immortality. Creating multiple Horcruxes is suggested to be costly to the creator, by both diminishing their humanity and even physically disfiguring them."

That's all it says on the whole page, there is nothing more. I fell to my knees instantly, tears being to leave my eyes. I have a piece of Voldemort's soul in me. I did some bad things in the past, terrible, I hurt a lot of people because I was told to, but just now I am understanding, I was a killing machine, a toy, nothing else. 

Rage fills me and my veins, replacing the blood in my body, I was even getting warmer. 

My mind was divided, continuing to work with Lord Voldemort or betray him. Even if the first option sounded safer and the track I have been on for years, I finally realize that the second one is the right one. 

Regret. All I could feel now was regret, I lost everyone I ever had because I was blinded by power, I lost my humanity, how could I ever do this to myself? 

I needed to figure out a plan quickly. 

And I know just how can help me... 

[A/N: Heyyyy, I am back after a break, I am really sorry for it but my mental health has being terrible and I just couldn't tell myself to write but I decided to give everyone a little gift. 

Covid has been terrible in my country as well, so we are all back at home with no classes for two weeks. 

So please be safe, TPWK, all the love ;)]


	16. Chapter 16

~~Y/N's POV~~ 

Severus, he can help me, but he won't forgive me, I hurt him, I hate myself so much, how could I be so blind to the point that I killed people? How?

I felt myself getting out of breath and starting to hyperventilate and suddenly I was having a panic attack on the floor of this dusty library, alone. Tears flooded my checks faster than I could wipe them as I started to remember what one friend once said: "Count to 10 and between each number take a deep breath." To be honest the memories of them hurt more but I needed to focus. After some time I could finally relax and calm myself down. 

I got up and sat at the table that I placed my lamp on to continue to defoliate the book, the answer I was looking for was nowhere to be seen, it was breaking my heart not knowing what was going to happen to me, and if I want to take Voldemort down did I have to go with him? I have a piece of his soul so for him to die completely and for that to happen he would have to go too, some being alive isn't going to allow this. 

Does anyone else know about this? Suddenly, an epiphany, Hogwarts, the library must have answers but how am I going to get in? 

I placed every book back in his place and picked the lamp up. I went into the living room, the kitchen, the dining room, every big division on this damn house and he was nowhere, the only place I didn't go into was his room. 

I took a deep breath, bigger than I thought I could. And started to walk towards his bedroom, it was on the other side of the mansion so I had to walk a little. 

I always found it enchanting how perfectly polished and the perfect shade of black, the way the sound enters perfectly when its sunrise and leaves as even when its sunset, the way the deep green curtains sat perfectly disposed on the floor and close by the window, the sound of my barefoot echoed through the hallway. 

"Is everything ok, Miss Moon?" Shit. Peter. Why was he so inconvenient?

I turned around on my heel and while crossing my arms I said, "It is, why?" 

He seemed way more confident than his usual self. It was weird and not normal.

"Oh, nothing Miss Moon." Ok, I guess, rat. 

I turned again and started walking in the direction of Severus' room. 

When I finally reached the door, I just stared at it for some time trying to gain courage. I took a really deep breath and knocked on the door 3 times. 

"Coming." Oh God, now it was too late to turn back. 

When he opened the door he was wearing black sweatpants and a white shirt unbuttoned, and he looked good but tired. 

"Oh, Y/N, is there something you need?" I hated asking for help but I knew I couldn't do this alone. 

"We need to talk." He looked like he was suspicious of me for some reason but still, he let me in. 

I walked inside and it looked like he had been studying or doing something over the desk, there were a lamp and a mess of papers over the entire desk. 

"So what did you want to talk about?" Where it goes. I took one shaky breath and looked at the floor, starting to play with my fingers.

"I am on your side. Please hear me out." I looked up from the floor and closed my eyes for a few seconds. "I heard what you and Voldemort were saying, how I had a piece of his soul." 

Tears, the only thing I didn't want right now were threatening to flood my eyes, once again I looked at the floor. 

"I don't want more people to die because of me, I am tired of being a killing machine and just a toy for Voldemort so he could bring this entire world down." It was becoming too much, my breaths became irregular and it was painful just to breathe. 

"My family, even if all they did was abuse me I wish I didn't hurt them, I have their blood going through my veins, I killed everyone, it is my fault, I pushed everyone away, my friends, and then when I had you I had to ruin everything, I was happy." 

Tears, they betrayed me, I tried to stop them but they were leaving my eyes like a river and there was nothing I could do to control them, I tried to wipe some of them away but I felt his fingers clean them and with a hand on my cheek and with the other he lifted my chin and his eyes were staring inside my soul, looking at every single detail on my face as if he was trying to see if this was really a dream or just a sort of prank. Oh, I get it. 

I opened my mind and I could feel him look into everything, our nights, my deepest thoughts, my panic attacks, I needed to open up if I needed him to trust me. 

He... He hugged me, I was in shock, it felt like it was forever since I felt his embrace, I placed my hands on his back and felt on his chest, all these emotions that for so long I put them down so I could be strong and seem intimidating to people, just came flooding me and just like that day on the Astronomy tower I end up on his arms again, enjoying each other embrace and feeling... complete and like I finally had that part of me that I searched for so long. 

"I am sorry, I don't deserve you. I was so stupid to believe his stupid words and to trust him." 

He gently rubbed my back up and down while humming: "It is ok, it is ok." 

I pushed my head back from his chest and with my eyes filled with tears look at him right in the eyes and place my hands on his chest, his hands never leaving my back.

"Can you forgive me?" A small smile crept on to his face, a rare occasion, he had that loving look on his face that showed care, love, but also fear... 

"I can. Y/N, I- I love you." Love? Did he say the word love? Does he love me? 

"You do?" I need to pinch myself to make sure it is true or not. 

"I do. From the moment you entered the advanced potions class last year and failed to do a simple potion but yet you never quit, you were always the first to get to class, studied harder than everyone, the small moments when you would stir a potion and get your hair all fuzzy due to the humidity and when you would get a potion wrong and would get all red and angry that you were unuseful, but you would do it a thousand times until you get it right. I love when you get somewhat happy about something you have these perfect lips curled up in an amazing smile. I love you Y/N." 

His words just made me even cry more and more at the thought of leaving him, the fact that someone truly cared about me was unfamiliar but definitely something I could get used to.

"Severus, I... I love you too. More than you think, thank you, thank you for not giving up on me." 

~~Severus's POV~~ 

I finally had her again, I had her in my arms, she was not in the best moment but she is here. 

The embrace I so needed for and so desperately tried to get back and found a way back to me and I will never let go ever again. When she said she loved me back, I felt my heart could explode, I was happy, but it wasn't forever, her mind, I looked deep into it, her trauma, everything she went through, I saw what her plan was, she was going to die to save everyone and she did not plan to come back, even if she wasn't speaking about I know it breaking her apart but I won't let her do it, I need to find a way for him to die with her having to die. 

[A/N: Heyyyyyyyyyyyy, I missed writing even if I took a long time to write this chapter I loved to because this is probably one of the last moments of happiness for them both. 

I hope you enjoyed it as always and next week I am going to start online classes again and I will probably have the inspiration to write I hope. 

Love yall. Be safe, WEAR A MASK, and most importantly TPWK. ;)]


	17. Going to be alone

~~Y/N's POV~~ Huge time skip because I like the suspense~~

It has been months since I and Severus fell deeply in love with each other and each day I fell more and more in love with him, when I get up every morning and hear his grumpy voice, it's like a light in my soul, we complement each other in the most mysterious way possible. I even became interested in searching about soulmates and if they were like people told me when I was younger, the way people used to say that you would gain a dependency on them and how much you would care for them, the way your stomach would become a butterfly field with just a cute little small smile crept on their lips. 

I knew that Severus had been in love before so for him this feeling wasn't quite new, but for me... For me, this felt like when you go on a rollercoaster for the first time, the feeling of adrenaline and euphoria and happiness, I never expected that person to be my own potions professor but for one side I am glad is him. 

The love we shared in the last few months was magnificent and even knowing that the probabilities of war were coming more and more true each day and even with all the sadness and suffering around us, nothing made us let go of each other's hands at the end of the day, night, meeting, meal, we were there for each other's souls and hearts. One day during the pick of spring we decided to go pick some flowers from the house we were at, they were only temporary as we were on a run from the Ministry, I had a pretty flower dress on and he had a white shirt and some black pants, it was going wonderfully until he stepped on a small swarm of bees, he just looked at me and yell run, we run and laughed trying to get away from the bees, he got some stings in the end and trauma to bees, it was one of my favorite memories together. 

Him trying to explain to me the most complex of complex potions and trying to make more, us training new defense spells, us reading on cold nights with just some firewood and each other to keep warm. 

But we also had our fights, when I left something messy being or when he didn't talk to me for full days, but we learned each other goods and bad and learned how to love each one of those. 

Right now I don't know where I am, I feel empty, I can only see black and it feels like a void. 

~~Severus POV~~ 

I had her, and just like that I lost her and everything I had gone with her, my happiness and the best moments of my life were now memories and just a smear thought. 

The Wizarding World is finally at peace, the Dark Lord is gone forever, I am not his servant anymore, just like dust he went. Hogwarts was destroyed due to the battle and was once a happy and colorful place that is now ruined and black. 

Everyone around me, either is happy and cheering we won or depressed and having the worst pain of their lives.   
And well I am the second, the body of the love of my soul is now resting in my arms, she sacrificed herself for me, and everyone else. I want to believe she is at the place she wants, the perfect garden filled with sunflowers that turn to her instead of the sun, filled with the brightest red roses and the prettiest carnations. I want her at the peace she deserves and in herself. 

“I love you, Y/N.“ Tears, I am crying. I never thought I would be able to cry after Lily's death but I am crying again, and once again due to loss. I pushed her eyelids down with my fingers and at that moment the sky opened a bit, enough for a single ray of sunshine to hit her face. 

{A/N- hey everyone, yes this is the first part of the last part of this story, I am sorry for taking so long but the online school has been crashing me and my mental health. 

BE SAFE AND TPWK. All of the Love. }


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